"Not equal are those of the believers who sit (at home), except those who are disabled (by injury or blind or lame), and those who strive hard and fight in the cause of Allah with their wealth and their lives. Allah has preferred in grades those who strive hard and fight with their wealth and their lives above those who sit (at home). Unto each, Allah has promised good (Paradise), but Allah has preferred those who strive hard and fight above those who sit (at home) by a huge reward,"(4:95)
Well...work is about to start. So many things so unsettled. So many dilemmas..still what is life without some complications to spice things up..
Trying my best to sleep train Faruq who unfortunately has been confused between day and night..the result Ummi has completely lost my voice (kinda like it actually) and turning into a zombie by the day. How I'm gonna start work in the next two weeks I don't really know. BUT on the good side, Faruq can sleep through for hours so...I only have to help him distinguish between day and night.
So far so good. Owe so much to the "The First Year" book. Will share the tips if they actually work!
No matter how "TESTING" things may be...still so many things to be thankful for....
Hamza has started school
Had the opportunity to meet up with Kak Milah and her Family :)
Posing Maryam memang best la :)
My favourite picture :). Nih yang terasa nak balik Leicester nih.
Lin (adik Anuar) finally had the chance to meet Hamza and Faruq
Some dearest friends came over for Raya.....
Always wanted our children to grow up and play together. Aisyah lawa sangat ari tuh. Hopefully "Geng" nih akan grow soon.
Love this picture as well. Gambar Shima, Naj and Azza sebenarnya ada. Cumanya didn't turn out so well. Jangan merajuk ye Naj & Shima nanti kita letak lagi.
Soo missing my dearest husband right now. So forgive me for being a little mushy. One good thing about living apart I must say is you will realise how much you love that special someone...
Though miles apart, I am so lucky to have you in my life. Can't thank you enough for allowing me to be here. If only circumstances were different. One thing's for sure..I thank Allah everyday cause I found you.
Masa yang tak dinanti akhirnya tiba. Suami tersayang tiada lagi di sisi. Nun Jauh Di Sana. Tu la...siapa suruh balik Malaysia. :((
Yup. How fast time passes you by especially when you are so not looking forward to it. It feels like just yesterday Anuar walked through the door downstairs while I peeked from the upper floor. It feels like just yesterday when I waited with anticipation for Anuar to finally walk through the bedroom door and greet me in his special way....Yes! it feels like just yesterday...and now he is again no longer by our side.
SELAMAT HARI RAYA AIDILFITRI
IMPORTANT NOTE: Bagi yang nak datang beraya, do mail me on sheira_shs@yahoo.com for my address :) . Jom la dtg
This year semangat untuk beraya memang tak membara walaupun setelah sekian lama tak beraya di KL.
Alhamdulillah, Anuar sempat beraya di Malaysia tapi kami tak beraya bersama for the first time since we got married. Kerana masih dalam pantang, Sarah dan Anuar berpisah seketika di hari raya pertama. Hamza dan abinya balik beraya bersama keluarga Anuar di Muar. Sarah pulak, beraya bersama keluarga di KL..... Aduh perit sungguh berjauhan dengan yang tersayang nih. Tapi takpe...yang penting sempat juga beraya bersama sehingga hari Anuar balik ke UK.
Sempena Hari Raya Aidilfitri ni, rasanya masih belum terlambat untuk kami mengucapkan Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri kepada semua sahabat serta sahabiah yang kami kasihi. Kami juga ingin memohon seribu kemaafan jika ada yang tersalah dan tersilap sepanjang perkenalan kita bersama. Moga ibadah di sepanjang bulan Ramadhan diredhai serta diterima oleh Allah SWT dan menjadi saham bagi kita di akhirat kelak. Ameen
Pantang Memantang & Beloved Abi
Fuuhhh tak lama lagi dah habih pantang. Jumaat nih cukup 40 hari berpantang. Alhamdulillah
Nak citer lebih-lebih tak payah la. Cumanya nak share satu je......
BEST JADI ISTERI DOCTOR NIH!! :D. Kenapa? ala teka teka sendiri la. Moga diberikan nikmat kesihatan yang berpanjangan oleh Allah Taala. Insya Allah
Sayu sekarang nih lepas Anuar kembali ke UK. This time around Hamza pun turut sayu. Dah dua malam Hamza sedih yang sgt sedih la ketika nak tidur. Hamza bagaikan tak ceria the first few days. Mana taknya, teman sehariannya tiada lagi di sisi.
All I want to share here is how greatful I am for a Husband like you. Dulu sebelum kawin, semasa di UK, time-time banyak dugaan, selalu memohon pada Allah hantarkanlah pada ku seorang suami yang bukan hanya akan mendekatkan ku kepada Mu tetapi juga yang akan menjadi ayah yang terbaik bagi anak-anak ku...masa tuh Ramadhan 2004....
Masya Allah...resultnya? Tengoklah sendiri...
Abi sanggup berpenat lelah pergi ke Zoo Negara bulan puasa demi anak tersayang Happynya Hamza & Abi. Penat pun tak pe. Seronok sungguh Hamza beraya dengan Abi
Abi dan Faruq
Abi & Hamza bantu Ummi uruskan Faruq. Masya Allah
SETERUSNYA?
Sekejap je masa berlalu, Faruq sekarang nih dah pun sebulan. Haaa nak tahu tak, Faruq dah gain 2kg since I gave birth to him. dah 5.5 kg dah...waaa anak Ummi and Abi nih. Diapers pun dah pakai size "M".
Faruq 1 week old
Setelah rambut dicukur
Besarkan Faruq sekarang??
Ummi dah nak start keje 1.11. A part of me tak sabar nak start keje. Dr John dah tanya2 dah bila nak start keje nih. Yg buat Market Risk kat FRM tuh setakat ni me and my colleague je..engagements semakin banyak. Ada jugak la rasa tak sabar nak travel..
On the other hand terasa dreading nak keje. Firstly, sbb sedih nak tinggal Faruq. Cepat sungguh dia membesar. Mainly, tgh banyak dilemma sekarang nih..Nak sgt balik UK bila je tak tahu lagi. Conclusionnya, we can't wait to be together again. Bila dan bagaimana? Wallahua'lam. Moga dipermudahkan segalanya. Ameen.
Well...tak sabar nak mula kehidupan setelah sembilan bulan berbadan dua. Nak start swimming, thinking of joining the gym and perhaps nak take up a new course..then nak ronggeng ngan girlfriends (kalau masing-masing tak busy la. cik naj asyik busy je org call! isk isk isk ingat nak ajak join gym skali :D). most importantly nak spend my time bringing up my two sons and....kembali bersama my passion.
Lastly..
Dada ini sentiasa terasa sebak semenjak Anuar melangkah pulang ke UK. Pengorbanannya untukku terlalu besar. Sanggup melepaskan isteri agar cita2 isteri dapat dikecapi. Its time to reflect..sanggupkah Sarah membiarkan suami tersayang di sana seorang diri?
This is an intersection AND I must figure out which way to follow.
May Allah give us guidance demi kebahagiaan kami dan most importantly bagi membesarkan pejuang-pejuang di jalan Allah....
Seriously, I keep wondering all alone in my room why must one "berpantang" up to 40 days or sometimes even more?? Yes, I'm sure there are resonable reasons behind it but the answers I get from my Mom and the "Kakak Urut" are not up to the satisfactory level.....
Back in the UK..when I gave birth to Hamza, though my mom was strict, Anuar often came to the rescue..by that I mean smuggling food, and backing me up when I requested to get out of the house!
After 11 days of how should I say "TERPERAP" in the room..I wonder how long can I keep going on like this?? So not in my nature. Furthermore...........ANUAR's coming back and I soooooo wanna go out and spend precious time with him out of my ROOM!
To be honest, I am well now. Can even jump or even run or EVEN have a round of netball so you see that's simply why I am trying very hard to understand why the number of days of "BERPANTANG"???
ok so enough about that..just part of my so well known rebellious nature..but then again it is like my mom said for my own good. I do love her very much for all she has done..just trying to make sense of it all...
2 DAYS SEEMS LIKE FOREVER!!
I am sure all of you have experienced this. When u are sooo looking forward to a certain day or a certain occassion..that's when it seems like forever before the day finally arrives.
Anuar will be back on Saturday 13th of Sept, at 5.25 pm to be exact. After soo long of waiting, the next two days seems soo long to go..and feels like forever.
I have been sulking in my rooom so not looking forward to sending anuar back to the UK on the 5th of October. so typical of me.
Then, it came back to me, how Anuar always tried to instill positive thinking in my soooo negative self! make the best of what we have today...don't spoil today because of what will happen tomorrow. True enough! must change the way i think immediately.
So..Anuar will once again leave me..but what I should focus on is its not forever that he leaves me, Insya Allah. Its just another test in life..Allah is always with us, listening to our prayers.
So my dears,
Ask Allah for strength when you are most in need. Rely in Allah...if you love someone because of Allah..insya Allah, He will keep the love strong if He wills it.
Ask for Allah for guidance always and always..sometimes when we feel that we are so lost..and in the process when we look back, we may realise that all we needed to do was to go back a step and ask Allah to guide us towards the right path..
Remember.....
Allah is everything and must be everything to us. Seek His guidance, blessings and love. May He make us the best servant and bless us in this journey we call life...
Alhamdulillah its now day 8 since Amir Faruq's birth. I am happy to report we are both well. To all well wishers, friends who left wonderful messages on my blog..jazakallah for your all your prayers and wishes. I apologise cause I cannot thank easch and everyone personally BUT...nevertheless may Allah in return give all of you the blessings and more that you have all wished upon us. Ameen.
As for Hamza........
So far he has shown nothing but compassion towards his little brother..he calls Faruq adik..or Faruq when he remembers the name. Now, he is an expert at climbing the stairs on his own..so most of the time I will find a faint knock on my door. At first, I thought it was just my imagination..till I heard some murmurs and babling...Yup no other But Amir Hamza waiting outside my door!! According to his Tok Wan, Hamza climbs the stairs even faster than she does!
When he comes to the room, he will look into the cot, reach out to touch Faruq, touches Faruq's hair and sometimes attempt to give Faruq a kiss on his forehead.
Today he started a new thing...
U see, one feature that many visitors commented on that differs between Hamza and Faruq is the "NOSE". Faruq clearly has a more prominent nose than Hamza, so often visitors mainly family would pull Faruq's nose and say "what happened to your nose Hamza". Not very kind i must say...but it happens. Hamza must have learnt from them. So now when he comes to the room, he would also pull on Faruq's nose...."Aduhai, kesiannya Hamza".
All he wants is to participate with caring for his brother and just be around me. Unfortunately for him, Ummi is unable to attend to both Hamza and Faruq at the same time for now. So Hamza spends most his time with Tok Wan and Sidi.
Is he ever jealous??? Well...I am sure he is. But he doesn't translate his jealousy by hurting his little brother, Alhamdulillah. Often he seeks my attention after I have attended to Faruq. Once after feeding Faruq, I gave him to my mother. Later, Hamza climbed on me requesting for me to hold him just as i Held faruq previously..Masya Allah..dearest Hamza.
Some Notes to Share:
Taken from a simple book written by Dr Abdullah Yassin, the ustaz that gave the tazkirah at our wedding and performed the "tahnik" on Faruq.."Pendinding Rumah, Pengantin, Bayi daripada Gangguan Syaitan".
Antara amalan-amalan yang patut dilakukan setelah bayi dilahirkan adalah:
1.Ucapan tahniah ketika melhairkan anak 2. Ta'zin dan Iqamah di telinga bayi 3. Tahnik (belah mulut) 4. Tahliq (cukur rambut) 5. Pemberian nama bayi 6. Khitan 7. Aqiqah
Alhamdulillah, Amir Faruq selesai semua perkara kecuali 4 dan 6.
Right after birth, since Abi couldn't be with us, Hamza's uncle, Ayah Li (Dr Razali) was the one thatperformed the Azan and Iqamah.
As for the Tahnik, we were lucky to have Dr Abdullah Yassin himself to perform the Tahnik.
Dulu Hamza, we managed to have the Imam of Masjid E Noor to perform the Tahnik. Simple je, Hamza abi bawa gi masjid jumpa the imam. Faruq pulak, Ustaz Abdullah singgah selepas terawih and nah..selesai. Takde majlis besar, takde marhabannya.
Insya Allah abi balik nanti, he will perform the Tahliq and bawa Faruq khitan at Ampang Puteri on the 15th of Ramadhan. Insya Allah..
Some pictures to share
Tahnik by Dr Abdullah Yassin
Dr Abdullah and his wife, sambil mengajar kami doa:
"Dengan Nama Allah, Ya Allah jauhkanlah syaitan daripada kami, dan jaukanlah syaitan daripada anak yang Engkau anugerahkan kepada kami"
I am very thankful for everything that has happened throughout the pregnancy and our seperation period. However, I must admit, it is so sad that I am missing out on Ramadhan.. I just hope that my du'as still counts during these sleepless nights of feeding baby Faruq..and I too do not lose out on the blessed night of Lailatul Qadr.
.......AND yes, Sayang will be back this SATURDAY!!!!!! after 4 LOOONNGGG MONTHS APART. Conclusion: Insya Allah, after months of evaluation..we've decided to once again be together...when?? hopefully sooner rather than later. Ya Allah Sungguh Aku Tak Sabar!!!!
What I dont look forward to..? another loong 4-5 months apart. oh I dread 5th of October......
Sayang, I simply can't wait.
A special dedication for Sayang. May it be a motivation for surviving our times apart...And Sayang...my prayers are always with u no matter where u are.
Allah Knows
(Zain Bhikha)
When you feel all alone in this world And there's nobody to count your tears Just remember, no matter where you are Allah knows Allah knows
When you carrying a monster load And you wonder how far you can go With every step on that road that you take Allah knows Allah knows
No matter what, inside or out There's one thing of which there's no doubt Allah knows Allah knows And whatever lies in the heavens and the earth Every star in this whole universe Allah knows Allah knows
When you find that special someone Feel your whole life has barely begun You can walk on the moon, shout it to everyone Allah knows Allah knows
When you gaze with love in your eyes Catch a glimpse of paradise And you see your child take the first breath of life Allah knows Allah knows
When you lose someone close to your heart See your whole world fall apart And you try to go on but it seems so hard Allah knows Allah knows
You see we all have a path to choose Through the valleys and hills we go With the ups and the downs, never fret never frown Allah knows Allah knows
Every grain of sand, In every desert land, He knows. Every shade of palm, Every closed hand, He knows. Every sparkling tear, On every eyelash, He knows. Every thought I have, And every word I share, He knows. Allah knows
I am taking time out from non stop breast feeding and "pantang" nonos.
Dont tell anyone else though..sempat plak berblogging.
Alhamdulillah, on the 1st of Sept. 1st of Ramadhan at 1.16 pm, I gave birth to our second son...
Amir Faruq
A normal delivery with wonderful and bestest doctors, staffs and people around me. So Abi, no worries, when you are finally back, we will all be happy and healthy to finally see u after all these months.
Alhamdulillah, on Thursday everything was like all settled: work, Hamza's well again, my Conjunctivitis was settling down (thanks to the eye infection I kinda like started my confinement period earlier than expected!!) and everything else was like falling into place (as I always like to put it).
AND THEN.............................
It started about 9 pm (actually since morning but I just didn’t think it was anything to worry about). I was having fierce contractions like every ten minutes consistently. I rested a bit, watched a bit of telly (some stupid but still quite impressive malay horror drama) just to kill time, went for my prayers got a bit scared so tried to calm self with reciting the quran..called Anuar - he was trying his best to distract me and I could think of and talk about was..."SAYANG I AM IN PAIN!!!".
So, I decided probably its best to just get ready. Just in case. Had a shower, walked around a bit. Lied down a bit and still the contractions were getting stronger every four minutes. Called Anuar again (mcm dok kat Malaysia je call call like every five to ten minutes). At 2 am, I decided that I might as well go. The hospital is 40 minutes away from the house so I won’t risk giving my parents a heart attack by giving birth at home!
Turns out, the contraction was very real, 5 minutes apart and the baby's heart rate was quite high based. Normal fetal heart rate was supposed to be between 120 to 160. The base for his heart rate was about 150 - 160. The nurse (a very nice lady I might add) decided that I should stay the night so the baby and I could be monitored. I was at the first stage of labour, ONLY 1 CM dilated...like it would take me forever la nak tunggu kat hospital to give birth. I was sedated for the night and slept at the labour room alone..ma yg sanggup teman me for the night, stayed at the single room..
The sedation was strong enough to put me to sleeeeeeeeppppp like a long long time. Tapi nama lagi kat labour room. Kebetulan ada two ladies nak give birth. I was kept awake by screams of pain. Ya ALLAH..masa tuh mmg i could not sleep at all. I could only think about my own experience how its gonna be. Alone, without my husband by my side...tak sanggup nak pun my mom through it....
The next day to my surprise my eldest sister who is a doctor came over (walaupun dlm proses dia gave me a hard time..:) so like Kak Ya but i know how much she cares). According to Dr Ashar I am still at an early stage of my first stage labour. Kiranya mcm false labour la. Pagi tuh my contractions was like 4 minutes apart. Mujur la kak ya ada..spoke to him in medical terms...and the Dr decided that he'd prescribed me with some medication to stop the labour pains and hopefully delay my labour till next week rather than inducing me and risk a non normal birth. That's the best thing about Dr Ashar. He's very conservative and makes you feel calm and confident about his decisions. Next week kalau give birth, Dr Jemilah ada..best best. Alhamdulillah. Trigger of these contractions, Dr suspect it could be due to my mild UTI. So bagi yg bakal melahirkan..kalau rasa sakit2 sgt awal mcm me (my due date is supposed tobe on the 17th of September, I had these pains like 6 weeks before my due date) better go get your urine checked. It is normal for pregnant women to get UTI. Better get it treated cause u may risk transferring the infection to the baby.
So, now I am back at home..bagus sebenarnya Allah buat these things happened. Mainly cause I could gauge how the labour is gonna be without my Sayang by my side. Surprisingly, throughout the experience other than the part of being awaken by the scream, I was quite calm. Masa sakit tuh pesan Sayang, banyakkan zikir dan selawat. Alhamdulillah. Of course la this is not the real thing. At least I know how to face it the next time and most importantly can be mentally and emotionally prepared. Insya Allah. Sekarang hanya menunggu masa. Still in pain tapi try to distract myself. Sempat give Hamza a haircut. :) Pas ni nak bawak Hamza keluar. Rindu sgt kat dia. Dah la ummi tiga hari jauhkan diri from him sbb sakit mata....Some pictures or our darling Hamza yang dah pandai cakap:
"One more time ummi" "Alhalillah" = "Alhamdulillah" "I miss you"
dan banyak lagi....
Hamza Makan roti kat bilik baru ummi
Uish sedapnya anak ummi makan!!Hamza dah pandai berposing depan camera abi!!
Hamza tolong bibi Vacum lepas potong rambut
Haaaaaaaaaa nih la rupa baru hamza lepas ummi potong rambut dari depan :) (gambar kat atas tuh ummi tak sure nak drag ke bawah camana)
Dengan Nama Allah Yang Maha Pemurah Lagi Maha Pengasihani
Assalamualaikum wrt wbt,
Ok. Sekarang nih sekadar menunggu masa nak melahirkan. Turns out yg my EDD is like between 20 - 30 days earlier than expected. Bukan salah kira...betul dah EDD dulu 17.9. But kata doctor baby dah engaged. Bila2 masa je lagi. Ummi dah sakit2 dah. Doctor siap kasi admission letter dah.....
Perasaan ummi.
Well, tak leh deny la sedih. Kalau betul la kiraan doctor, tak berkesempatan la Ummi lahirkan adik hamza dengan suami tersayang di sisi. tu yang lemah sikit tu. Semasa di labour room selama 13 jam ketika ummi nak bersalinkan hamza, abi was with ummi hingga lah saat hamza dilahirkan. Memberi semangat kepada ummi, mengalunkan ayat2 suci al quran ketika ummi tengah kesakitan menunggu hamza tampil ke dunia...basically..tanpa abi, ummi agak2 tak tahu la survive camana masa tuh.
Tapi..now? lagikan sahabatku Nadrah survive, takkan la ummi nak mengalah. Insya Allah..boleh melaluinya..mmg tarbiyah sungguh la nih. Untuk ummi dan anak ummi dalam kandungan nih. Walaupun abi tidak akan di sisi..kata abi doanya takkan putus mohon Allah permudahkan segalanya untuk ummi...rindu ummi untuk mendengar suara merdu abi mengalunkan ayat2 al-quran...insya Allah bila abi balik nanti.
Kerisauan ummi??? Tidak lagi akan berjumpa dengan suami yang tersayang..Apapun ummi berserah..Ajal dan maut ketentuan Allah. Moga kita disatukan bukan hanya di dunia ttp juga sehingga ke akhirat kelak............
On a happier note...
Well...both my family and anuar's have been a great support. Mama Anuar siap nak dtg teman kat hospital. :) Tq mama..no worries. ramai yg volunteer nak jaga nih. Termasuk la kak je yg Alhamdulillah bakal dikurniakan anak lelaki..insya Allah.
Yang lebih ummi bersyukur....my bosses have actually allowed me to work from home till i take my maternity leave...Never in a million years I expected my bosses and colleagues to be so understanding and considerate. Dulu masa nak keje KPMG, ramai terkejut. Benefit sikit, environment yang tak brp Islamic...etc etc. BUT Alhamdulillah..so far this has to be the best place for me to work. Allah banyak meringkan beban ummi. Mmg la cabaran utk ummi kuat sebagai wanita muslim yg bekerja dgn colleagues yg mostly non muslims..tapi medan da'wah terbuka luas utk ummi..moga Allah berikan kekuatan pada ummi meneruskan kerja ummi di sini. Thanks to Abi for all your support!!
Akhir kalam kali nih...nak share bersama photos anak sulung ummi yang dah pun dua tahun Alhamdulillah. atau bak kata hamza "tu er old"..:D. Masya Allah anak ummi...Doa ummi dan Abi Hamza will achieve everything that we hope for for u...
Had a little family gathering untuk besday Hamza...check it out :)
Hadiah dari Abi & Ummi. Ada gaya mcm ummi shoot bola tak? ;)
We decided to have cupcakes instead of a cake. Idea bernas. Tak muak. Senang nak bagi orang kalau ada lebih. Hamza suka barney so Ummi pilih Barney theme.
Haa...nih hadiah dari Mummy Che Ya. Swimming suit dari Tok Ma. Seronok betul Hamza main air. Pas ummi bersalin Hamza misti kena belajar berenang nih.
Hamza menggayakan jersey favourite team Ummi (GO ARSENAL!! This year misti dpt trophy la!!) hadiah dari Tok Wan & Sidi. Hamza kan nak main bola mcm Henr y / Fabregas (betul ke ejaannya) ;)
Haaa ni special hadiah dari Abi. Birthday Wish special buat Hamza...content?? haa nntla ummi upload.Ni pulak, gambar makan2 kat umah kemar. seronoknya kembali bersama sahabat tercinta. Tak sabar anak kemar pulak join the team..:) Insya Allah.
